Berlin’s Top Five Tourist Traps & Top Five Guilty Pleasures

Berlin is Europe’s third most-visited city. So it is inevitable that there are tourist traps lurking among the its dozens upon dozens of  sights. Our list of the Berlin’s top five tourist traps helps you to avoid the biggest turkeys.  But don’t avoid all of the city’s tacky attractions. Our list of the city’s top five guilty pleasures points to sights that we love despite their heavy flirtation with tourist trap status.

Berlin’s Top Five Tourist Traps

Currywurst Museum

Sorry Wallpaper magazine. We know you named this museum one of Germany’s Fab 40. But we think that the information conveyed in the exhibits is as empty as the calories in the street food it chronicles. A visit to one of the city’s famed Currywurst slingers—Konnopke’s Imbiß or Curry36—should sufficiently quench any curiosity you have about this cult-like snack.

East Side Gallery

This 1.3-kilometer stretch of the original Berlin Wall adorned with paintings by more than 100 artists was an exciting symbol of the fall of the Wall. But the paintings, which had fallen victim to the weather and graffiti, were recently restored or re-painted.  In the process, the magic of this open-air gallery was somehow lost.

Madame Tussaud’s Wax Museum

You’re really going to pay money to see lifeless figurines of German celebrities that you have never heard of (except for maybe Heidi Klum)?

Museum the Kennedys

This museum offers an extensive collection of Kennedy memorabilia, documents, and photographs. But few of these have anything to do with Berlin—only a handful of exhibits hail from the president’s trip to the city. You’re better off (time- and money-wise) visiting the Rathaus Schöneberg (City Hall) where the popular president delivered his famous Ich bin ein Berliner speech.

Deutsche Guggenheim Museum Berlin

Don’t be seduced by the famous name. This small space run by the famous art empire is devoted to obscure contemporary artists that rarely merit the entry fee.

Berlin’s Top Five Guilty Pleasures

Alexanderturm

Why pay to go to the top of Berlin’s famously ugly Berliner Fernsehturm (television tower) when you can see the architectural monstrosity from all corners of the city, anyway? Because the view of sprawling Berlin from the top is fantastic and the rotating restaurant is retro (without trying).

Check Point Charlie

We want to be cynical and scoff at the ‘Disneyfication’ of this historic gateway between East and West Berlin. We know it’s cheesy that they replaced the original Checkpoint with a tacky replica. But the weight of the events that took place at this corner of the city still hangs heavy in the air and captures our imagination—despite the proliferation of souvenir shops and the tour bus crowds.

Nikolaivertel

This network of “medieval” streets that the East German government built in the 1960s is undeniably hokey. But its quiet, cobblestone lanes and the pleasant museums make it worth an hour or two.  We don’t even object to Zur Letzten Instanz, the very touristy but tasty restaurant that claims to be the city’s oldest.

Spree Rundfahrt

In the summertime, the Spree river is chock full of tour boats manned by taped or live guides that bark heavily scripted factoids about Berlin at its occupants. But these tours provide a glimpse of the city that landlubbers miss. You’ll appreciate a boat tour even more if you save it for that hour of the day when your dogs are barking.

KaDaWe

The Kaufhaus des Westens is Europe’s biggest department store. Always crowded and confusing to navigate, it doesn’t offer many items that you can’t find in the U.S. (Thanks, globalization.) But the expansive food hall and the opportunity to browse thousands of items always draws us back—especially when the weather is lousy.

For more information about these sights, buy Berlin & Brandenburg here. It’s only $2.99!

Photo by Loozrboy.